have you ever had a thirst you couldn't cool

can such a thing exist, a hunger that cannot be filled, an unappeasable appetite? i drink and i drink, drink you in, and yet at the end it is not enough and i want some more. i'm not bloated, not even moistened, still dry for the taste of you.

i was at a party thrown with the rugby boys once. we ran around and did some passing, some kicking, some feinting. when night came we had a barbeque. for drinks they mixed rose cordial and condensed milk and ice for bandung. i was thirsty and hot from the afternoon, so i drank it. it was sweet and cool and watery, but the moment i finished the cup i felt thirsty again. so i drank some more. i drank and i drank and i drank, but each time after finishing it was as if i hadn't had anything to drink i was still thirsty. it continued the whole night.

i have that feeling again. is it too much to ask, to have another glass and another and yet another? as soon as you leave i want you back. as soon as i walk away from you i want to turn around again. as soon as i wake i want to see you again. i only saw you a moment ago, but i want to see you again.

it's not enough, i want you here, now with me. i want you dreaming on my shoulder, i want you drooling open-mouthed in the tired afternoon, i want you thoughtful on the sofa reading while feet are touching, i want you excited clicking links you gotta see this or plucking odd chords on the guitar. i want you, lost with me, wrapped in a cloud of pillows and sheets hands and limbs, skin to skin, our bodies so tangled we don't know where yours ends or mine begins.

Top 5 Records

of 2005:

(autobiographically, I admit).

Kanye West's Slo Jamz
Dilated People's This Way
Hooverphonic's 2wicky
Snoop Dogg's Drop It Like It's Hot
Green Day's City of the Damned


Top 5 movies of 2005

This list is gonna be dominated by kid shows. Is this because of the dearth/selectiveness of movie watching i did last year, or because it was just a bad year for other stuff/good year for kid shows?

The Incredibles
Batman Begins
Howl's Moving Castle
March of the Penguins
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

and lastly, needing a mention here only because it has a lovely end sequence,

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

This is at least partially because I can't figure whether The Jacket and Closer were released in 2005 or not.


So does what you like matter more than what you are? Does your taste say more about you than your speech? I can't decide. If I look at my choices here, it's pretty dire. But that's only this year, I defend to myself. It was a terrible year (and I cheated on the records, going autobiographically). I want to be a person of decent taste, but isn't that also shallow, to judge someone based on their taste in music and film?

Top 5 bands I saw for the first time in 2005

B-quartet
Death of Cinema
Mistaken Pirates
Sally's Rejex
Gerhana Ska Cinta

I'd include Shelf but I just heard they've sort of retired.... Hi to the lead singer for saying hi first. Big up yourself guys! I hope you'll go again.