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Pure

Friday, May 27, 2005

the end of days

in the hazy light of a ten o clock window i talked and spoke, but no words came. No words could say what i wished, no sentences could hold the meaning of what i mean and what i feel.

in a room with many doors i find myself wondering at the wisdom of the life i lead. You asked me what i want. I ask myself that often too.

i want to hear a meow and know that it is meant for me (i know you are there, you say it all the time, but never to me).

I wandered out into an afternoon of cane sugar and phone calls, listening to ring tones and sad overtones. I think of time, slipping by, slipping away.

You are beautiful who ask me what i am and what i want, splendid skaters on a lake of glassy ice. 'We are virtual,' i thought i heard you say, and didn't get the chance to find out what that meant. You are virtual and real, you are promise and energy; it dances even when you are still.

I listen to the music the Camels make, I listen to the dreamy sounds from the cutting edge of the spectrum. I wonder when we will move people the way music is supposed to. Weeks ago I watched a band named Shelf, and they were better than any college band which that college has ever produced, better in their first performance than my own band was in its first. it never won the rather ridiculous competition it was entered in, even though it should have. But it reminds me that competition means nothing, that one result means nothing. We are disheartened by results, by losing, when actually it means absolutely fuck all. They were the best no matter what result occurred and that is plain to me. Yet if i can say that about them, and if i can say that to you the sparkle skaters on the glassy lake, then why can't i say that to myself?

yesterday evening as the sun hung low and flat in the sky and the air was insipid, i watched a puddle of water film over with a greasy rainbow of oil from an engine. the rainbow was beautiful heaviness, and it spread and choked the light and clarity out of the little road puddle. i felt it on my skin.

I want to be- I want to see- I want to feel- Pure.

25 Comments:

  • how metaphorical. whats with the infatuation with camels. why abdul's discount camels and not abdul's discount cats =).

    meow. cats rule dont they. unless they go around peeing on your bag.

    Time flies doesnt it ^^.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Friday, May 27, 2005 5:21:00 AM  

  • hellos. i still dont understand what is happening.haahaa only understand a bit. so weird. anyway can insert a tagboard or something? =)

    By Blogger eileenb, at Friday, May 27, 2005 7:20:00 AM  

  • the camels must be my desert infatuation. which is odd seeing as how i've never really been to the desert. camels are kind of ugly, yet so well adapted they are beautiful.
    and yes, meow, cats certainly rule, even when they pee on my bag. they rule, because they act like they own everything (they might as well rule)

    eileen doesn't know what's going on? i am surprised. and i have to say i am kind of inspired by everyone else's tagboard to put one here, but i don't want to do it just because it's fashionable you know.... And how am i going to avoid not being able to see what is written?

    By Blogger pure, at Friday, May 27, 2005 6:41:00 PM  

  • ooo. thats eileen?. isee. hey mr weng. i dont have a blog x). so you can tell me yours now =D.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Saturday, May 28, 2005 1:56:00 AM  

  • well! dun get a tag board! stick to this. its better..at least ppl give more intelligent comments.
    tags in tagboard maybe too vague.
    Meows~~~~
    i love cats.
    muahahahha
    and hey
    yes
    i like cats because they act like they own everything.
    lolsss
    charismatic.
    cats rockx.

    MmEeeeOoWwsss~~~

    *but im scare of cats*
    ha

    -liz' :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Saturday, May 28, 2005 6:45:00 AM  

  • emmalyn's superhuman instinct tells me that the first person who commented was bobbica.

    why can't it be jemma's expensive camels. tell us the story behind paula's (distant) relative.

    i don't want a tagboard. please? it's too...messy.

    i hope mr lee-weng doesn't feel inhibited when writing, just because so many people are reading.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Saturday, May 28, 2005 10:01:00 AM  

  • Were you writing about us, in the first part of the entry? I feel like i'm analysing a lit essay, only that it's more fun now.

    Time passes way too fast for anyone's good. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S JUNE? *blink* AHHHH IT'S DECEMBER!!!

    "i think of the couple sleeping the lazy afternoon away, snuggled up close on the couch or on the grass. He says, i love you catherine. She says drowsily, mmm... i love you ben. But his name is not ben".

    This has been etched into my head for as long as i can remember.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Saturday, May 28, 2005 10:13:00 AM  

  • emmalyn. your superhuman/non-human instincts were wrong x). it was mee. =). lol. time seriously flies. its been 3 months and we treasure the time we had with you mr weng =D. you rulee.

    cats think that they own you xD.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Saturday, May 28, 2005 9:48:00 PM  

  • UGH i should have jolly well known. With the ^^. Nobody does things like that except yuanyuan. Yuan2 types really pretty emoticons. Like, x) or ^.^ or some other cute expression.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 4:32:00 AM  

  • hahahaha
    -liz'

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 4:40:00 AM  

  • Sometimes it seems that cats really do own you, and not the other way around.

    There's this joke an art teacher told me.

    The difference between cats and dogs? When you feed a dog, he thinks, "Wow, HE is god." When you feed a cat, he thinks, "Wow, I am god."

    And it is you all who rule, not me or my cat. You guys are really something.

    hey i don't believe yuan long has no blog....

    By Blogger pure, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 5:06:00 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger pure, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 5:06:00 AM  

  • next time i think of weird i will think of you

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 6:02:00 AM  

  • thanks, anonymous.

    oh yes of course emmalyn. and weng doesn't feel inhibited, just worried at the effect an excess of swear words might have on the audience's unaccustomed ears.

    yuan long, you sure you have no blog?

    By Blogger pure, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 6:18:00 AM  

  • so much has happened xD. erm. blog?. not sure. just that its rather stagnant. =D. yahh i do have a blog. but its actually for personal viewing actually. too much crap goes into there.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 7:25:00 AM  

  • and how come you never go on msn =/.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 7:25:00 AM  

  • Wahaha! I am the terror that haunts you every now again. Feel inferior to meeeeeeee!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sunday, May 29, 2005 6:05:00 PM  

  • an excess of swear words? surprisingly it's quite the norm. too many Holy Jesus-es might condemn you to eternal death though. ah, whatever. i've a feeling you're an atheist. or a lazy free thinker.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Monday, May 30, 2005 5:10:00 AM  

  • very funny who's pretending to be My Nemesis here!!!?? Who let the Yong out? That better not be Eddie G!!!

    By Blogger pure, at Monday, May 30, 2005 10:02:00 AM  

  • lazy free thinkers x).
    theres nothing wrong with using swear words actually. its part and parcel of life ^^.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Monday, May 30, 2005 7:05:00 PM  

  • hmmm....
    emma yong???...
    hmmm....

    INTERESTING.
    -liz'
    *grinss*

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:58:00 AM  

  • *look of injured innocence*

    Who me?

    By Blogger Eddie G., at Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:43:00 PM  

  • Eddie if it's you i'm gonna kick your ass for scaring me

    i know this is late, but thanks to the other emma, emmalyn, for the kind words. ben and catherine are so locked in my head too.

    By Blogger pure, at Thursday, June 02, 2005 12:12:00 AM  

  • december's chill comes late, the days get darker and we wait for this direness to pass.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Friday, June 03, 2005 9:53:00 AM  

  • why the hell u so scared of her for, mofo? Sure, she's rich, famous and successful and you're... um.. going to be rich famous and successful...

    See nothing to it right? hehz! :)

    By Blogger Eddie G., at Friday, June 03, 2005 8:24:00 PM  

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