all i wanted was everything

a lot of people have asked me what i want. out of life, or in life, i assume. (both of which are the same thing i believe).

i always say i don't know. butmaybe,
i want that sunday morning lying-in-bed-while-the-sunlight-pours-in-on-my-face feeling.
i want to bury my face in a pillow and be able to smell the sunshine on it.
i want to be tangled up in white sheets and surprised that i can't get up.
i want to bite into a juicy piece of fruit at breakfast and taste the entire journey that brought it to my door.
i want to dip my hand in a cold clear stream and not fear sinking the rest of myself into its icy body.
i want to open my eyes underwater and see the white roll of a wave pass above me.
i want to sweat in the scorching afternoon sat on the grass staring at other people.
i want to wake up and reach over in the lazy morning and have a cigarette to feel human.
i want to drive a very precious car off a cliff.
i want to last all night and be groggy all morning.
i want to choke the life out of something beautiful.
i want to make people cry.